Letter to my angry son

Dear Jacob , I can remember the day you were born like it was yesterday. You surprised us all, arriving at just weeks, and then surprised us all again by being a whopping 6lbs 4oz. You were a little fighter even then – you didn’t need any help with your breathing even though you were born too early. Your very first breath was God’s breath speaking to me, telling me that my purpose in life has now been defined.

God had just blessed an imperfect man with a perfect child. Then, in a flash of brilliance while enduring the repercussions of a complete meltdown by my 13-year-ol I decided to write a letter to my angry son.

My son needed to be dealt with for his behavior an quite frankly, I knew he was not in a space to hear any sounds much less my sermon. After several breaths and some soft music of my choice, I wrote the letter (below). I silently walked upstairs and hand-delivered it to his lap.

Dear Son , it has been months since I’ve heard your voice and year since I’ve seen you. To this day, I’m still not sure what I did to make you angry , but I hope you will forgive me. I love you and my grandson. As your dad and I fade into the background of your life I want to tell you it has been a privilege to have you as our son.

The letter you always wanted to write.

I know at times, I drove you nuts! I may not have disciplined you enough, or maybe I disciplined you too much. I fed you and bathed you and clothed you. I sang to you, read to you, taught you. To my Dear son Jeff, I want to apologize to you from the depths of my soul for how my actions became so totally out of control, resulting in tremendous hurt to you and Kyle.

One way to do this is through letters. A letter to my son” does not have to be long. So long as you touch on all the important points you want to make, he will absolutely get the message. My Dear Chil I feel like I’m saying goodbye to you, and in a way, I suppose I am. I will always love you.

I want the very best for you and I’m prepared to do the most un-natural thing, a mother can ever do. Writing a letter to your child who is struggling with dependence or addiction can be cathartic for both of you. It can also allow you to express the caring and emotion you feel that might be harder to communicate in person.

Read Ron’s letter below and ask yourself if letter writing might be a good option for you. I know I spend a lot of time yelling at you—way too much time, actually. You are my son and always will be.

I adore you, and there is nothing you could possibly do to change that. Be good to yourself and keep posting.

I send you the best for the holidays. And having a Solstice Fire to burn up anger is really helpful to me. When I have burned my old journals, letters , etc. Somehow my anger goes up with the flames. He is years old and he is sometimes out of control.

He always finds something to start talking to me and my wife about, and he is talking very bad to us. He sometimes talks about killing himself. I wrote so many letters to so many people letting them know that I forgive them for what they did to me.